Getting 'Head

Last night, I achieved a life-long goal and saw Radiohead live.

I have been a huge, HUGE fan ever since I was fifteen, when I used to lie on the sofa in semi-darkness, staring at the celing in adolescent melancholia, with "Karma Police" or "Street Spirit" looping endlessly in the background, and my dad banging on the floor with a broom handle yelling, "TURN DOWN THAT MOANING!" Lead singer Thom Yorke had the voice of an angel and his music was the soundtrack to the film of my life - albeit a moody, obtuse, European-sort of film, featuring youth with shaggy hair-cuts, plenty of rainy locals, and lots of coffee and existential chat. I vowed to see them live or die trying.

Achieving tickets, as any of you fellow Radiohead'ers know, is no easy thing. One, the band hates touring. So they do it infrequently. When they do tour, it's usually in some tiny European venue like an ancient Roman colesseum in the south of France. This recent tour, for example, has exactly two (count 'em! two!) whole dates in Toronto...and they're playing the Hummingbird. The Hummingbird. Which seats about 27 people. So getting tickets has been, let us say, somewhat of a mission.

But we got them. Or rather, Mr. Burns got them, with the help of e-bay, persistance, Puralator, and a recently acquired (and now seriously dented) credit card. He says I now owe him big time the next time U2 come to town.

But what a show. Oh, what. A. Show. I've never been to a concert where the entire audience was swaying gently back and forth in harmony to show their devotion. Thom Yorke and the boys sounded incredible. Best of all was Thom's frenetic, adorable, spastic little dance kicks. That boy has ENERGY - wonder if it's his reported vegan/raw food diet. There may not be much to that one skinny body, but boy can it move. There was no phoning it in here - that boy was givin' 'er. And he has a surprisingly deep speaking voice..although a crazy-thick accent. He didn't say much, and what he did say was pretty much mumbled and not understood. Mr. Burns wondered if Thom had recently been punched in the mouth, but I tend to think it's just how he is.

And they did three encores. Bless them.

On the way home, Burnsie and I amused ourselves by thinking up alternate concert formats for Radiohead, which included:

1) Thom Yorke changing into a different sparkly outfit between each number
2) the opening act being Corn or Limp Bizkit
3) the band coming out on stage in a clown car
4) Thom Yorke sailing out over the crowd à la Joseph and the Amzing technocoloured dream-coat
5) Thom Yorke singing "Karma Police" whilst kittenishly showing off his legs from atop a giant swing

I remain, Radiohead, your devoted disciple.